Fizzyglob

Working on a personal philosophy, I’ve now outlined it. I know, I know, most of you are thinking, “great, here come a bunch of long winded sentences that never end because they’re all long winded en’ shit.” But really. I’ll keep it as short as possible.

Comedic Pseudo-Nihilism (in ten easy steps)

1. Nihilism’s view is that existence is void of intrinsic value, meaning or purpose.

2. However, “the pathos of 'in vain' is the nihilists' pathos — at the same time, as pathos, an inconsistency on the part of the nihilists.” Nietzsche, The Will to Power, sec. 585.

3. So claiming that the world is without meaning is a meaningful statement with a purpose to describe this world as without purpose. Nihilists are right about everything except themselves.

4. This is funny.

6. Anything that is funny, or comedic, is that which forces a smile or laughter from an observer/listener (or any other sense used, some smells are funny, feathers in the armpit, etc.).

7. Nihilism can be applied to everything except itself, and in applying itself to itself a comedic experience emerges that negates itself, and so therefore the only thing worth anything is comedy.

8. If the only endeavor of value is that of comedy, then comedy at the expense of others is of the least amount of value.

9. The more people that find an event comedic imparts more value to existence than does an event that less people find funny.

10. Therefore, the best comedy is that which makes everyone laugh, which creates meaning in everyone’s lives.

Make people laugh, nothing else matters, life is a joke, all is in vane, struggling against the infinite nothing with finite strength, finite time, finite self, no chance to win, success a myth, and layered within the epic existential depression of it all…belly button lint, nose hair, laughing so hard a half eaten French fry is regurgitated and projected into your soda only to float, bobbing up and down in front of the waitress, like a mocking parody of your own inability to control your body.

Posted by Fizzygoo at 02:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I’m bitter and grumpy. It’s a sign, not like a road sign, but more like a prophet’s sandwich board sign saying “It’s all crap!” as he gives you a gaping mouth mad stare. The bastard. I know. There’s a lot out there, people with mouths, who will say that it’s all about what you surround yourself with. But that’s crap. It’s all crap oozing from the walls of civilization. Civilization’s only purpose to help make us forget about the crap. Irony is civilization’s just the same crap, different package.

The written word is dead, despite what you read online. I’m quitting one job only to get another, which seems idiotic in many ways. IF you quit a job, it obviously means that you don’t like jobs, so why get another one? Despite my bitterness and general, overall, grumpiness, I’m grateful for the old job and the new job.

Britney should have totally buried some of her hair with Anna.

In regards to the culture in which I live, the fact that I can write that sentence and understand how it is applicable, disgusts me in such a way that all I taste is the bitter fluid rising from my stomach.

One path towards bitterness is with the realization that your childhood will be repackaged and sold to everyone else, your feelings of uniqueness will be revealed as just that: feelings, and the only meaning in the universe is what you impart to it.

Get me a shovel, the crap is thick and I’d like to stretch out.

A better road to bitterness is through good coffee. Maybe an Italian wine.

I don’t remember the drive in to work this morning. The beginning I remember, dropping Jasmine off I remember, but then it fades into this haze, a quiet ride through a clear morning, nothing particularly noticeable or exciting, a day lost due to the lack of tragedy.

Remember, burning your hang-nails off is far more efficient than biting them off, but you don’t get the free meal.

Remember, gravity, like evolution, only works if you believe in.

This is about the point where I’d start digressing into discussions about penises and vaginas, dicks and cunts:

There are a lot of politicians out there. I like the core of the system. But there are people involved. People tend to produce a lot of crap over their lives. A Politician’s no different, save, like celebrities, they get a lot of other people talking about how great (or bad) their crap is.

“Fuck your rambling! Give me coherence!” the other one said. The first just looked at him and grinned. The other one looked at him, then looked at his soup, “What did you do? What did you put in my soup?!” The first one glanced over at some bottles on the shelf, his gaze lingering on the bottle with the words “EXtra FIber” written in big, dark gold, letters.

The following is an actual speech an imaginary senator gave in my head one day.

“The time for action is now! With this new power structure, we have no choice but to take action in common cause against the terrors which are set against us! But there is only a limited amount of beauty left in the world, beauty that is inherent and owned by no one. So long as we can secure this resource from being exploited by outside influences, we will have victory over all obstacles. And so, it is my great pleasure to announce that we will…”

Poor senator, the podium ate him. It was hungry. Mad podiums are a danger to our native, free ranging, politicians and we must put a stop to them. Either that or begin to accept genetically altered, cage-fed, politicians into the food chain. Your choice. At least podiums just crap wood.  

Posted by Fizzygoo at 03:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Worker 1 says:

Anyone need anything from OfficeDepot/Max?

Worker 2 says:

nope. thanks

 Worker 2 has left the conversation.

Worker 3 says:

I am currently away from the computer.

Worker Boss    says:

PENS

Fizzygoo says:

happiness

Worker 4  says:

no thank you

Havick says:

what's OfficeDepot/Max?

Fizzygoo says:

you're momma

Havick says:

oh ok

Havick says:

thanks

Fizzygoo says:

sure

Havick says:

I'll take some money

Fizzygoo says:

Yeah! Money and happiness.

Fizzygoo says:

And girls

Fizzygoo says:

yeah

Fizzygoo says:

that'd be nice.

Fizzygoo says:

yeah

Havick says:

maybe some extra bovine diodes for our multi-dimmensional gate system and life templet to help with our backend agenda

Fizzygoo says:

yes, yes. We need more bovine diodes! Very important, hmmmm, yes what?

Havick says:

huh?

Fizzygoo says:

okay then

Havick says:

if you say so

Fizzygoo says:

Right! Bovine Diodes it is

Havick says:

yes yes, but what about the lateral flux capacitors to recapitulate the reverse positron flow through the dilithium manifolds?

Fizzygoo says:

we have Worker Boss's head for that, ahem, yes.

Havick says:

ah right, we'll take one Worker Boss's head too please

Fizzygoo says:

yes yes! Now get on it, Worker 1, we're in dire need and we don't have a lot of time, eh what?

Havick says:

damnit Worker 1 hurry!! the radiation from the crypton coils is becoming too strong, we need those diodes now!!

Fizzygoo says:

We're beginning to loose feeling in our  sphincters and it's very unpleasent, hmmm

Havick says:

what?

Fizzygoo says:

huh?

Havick says:

who are you?

Fizzygoo says:

Why, I'm your son of course, and and who are you, eh whaat?

 Worker Boss    has left the conversation.

Havick says:

I guess that would make me our grandfather's sister in law

Fizzygoo says:

right!

Havick says:

well I'm glad we cleared that up

Worker 1 says:

What I really need to get is a Horse tranquilizers and a jacket that ties at the arms. A room padded with foam. Bubba would like to help you in. Ok?

Fizzygoo says:

What what? I dare say, no. No!

Havick says:

there's no time for that! the molecular structure of the dihydrogenmonoxide is begining to break down, the magnetic force of the fusion reactor is imploding on itself!!

Fizzygoo says:

That's not good to hear, not good at all! Do you hear this Worker 1, the very fabric of our existance is beginning to break apart like so many Diseny plots in a washing machine of quantized powerful and deadly radiation! With out our dihydrogenmonoxide bound we're sure to cave in on ourselves!

 Worker 1 has left the conversation.

 Havick has left the conversation

Posted by Fizzygoo at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I’m a genius. In my head. No really. In my head, I’m one of the smartest human beings alive. So smart, in fact, that I’m pretty much not even considered human, but super-human. In my head. It’s like playing chess with Death and winning over and over again. In my head. Only it’s not chess, it’s a nude beach contact volleyball game with [insert your favorite sexual icon(s) here], and everyone wins. Just without the volleyball part. Oh, and it’s all in my head.

Anywayz. The important thing about this post, is to let you know that I now know that the post-comments part of the site was set to moderate and now it’s set to free-for-all, or post-as-you-please. Of course, I realized this well after a few posts over a few months, and so, there you go. I spend to much time, in my head.

Posted by Fizzygoo at 03:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBacks (0)

The slow decay of civilization is marked by an increase in the demographic of its population that complains about the slow decay of their civilization. But civilization is a bit like life; it’s a fatal disease that knows no beginning. “As soon as it’s born it’s dying” to misquote Iron Maiden (who’s probably [mis]quoting someone else, but maybe not).  Yesterday was not any better than today. There was no Golden Age, only the Gilded Ages of the past: A gold edge on a dull self-help book stating the obvious in different words. Moral decay and loosing family values is the nature of humanity. Every generation fears the next; youth is always frightening to the old, especially when the youth finds better, faster, ways of loosing their youth. Innocence is best exemplified in the cruelty of children towards one another and the sheer stupidity of not looking where one steps. Innocence is lost by stepping on ones self and ones closest friends. Stupidity is reached by blaming your footsteps on the turning of the world beneath you. There will always be stupid, selfish people in the world and some of the time you’re one of them. This is the decay and from decay new growth sprouts, knowledge is sometimes gained, but usually only enough to realize that the decay starts anew. And so, those venerable hoary headed elders, with their lost innocence and knowledge gained, learn to cry out, like their parents did so long ago, “our civilization is in jeopardy!” and they site the moral decay and lost family values, morals and values that their ancestors labeled as decayed and lost.

            No one likes things to change, especially when they feel good about the status quo. It’s a cruel twist in the human chain of DNA to make us so resistant to change. Lucifer tried to change things, so we made him fall and attributed to him all things terrible. The King of Change is the Prince of Lies. But without change, there is stagnation. The decay stops, nothing grows. Knowledge is stopped. The greatest lie is that change is bad. Change is inevitable and neutral. How humanity embraces the change is what defines our character. This is why science and art are the crowing achievements of humanity; they invite change. In science, when a theory or model is found lacking in its explanations, it can be modified, adapted, to the new information. And when theories or models are found to hold up to the tests, we can use that information to make changes to our world, for good or ill. Art calls to us, inviting us to look at our world in different ways, sometimes pleasant, sometimes terrible, but always engaging its audience, whether in music, paintings, writing or theater. Bad art is not art at all, only entertainment meant to subdue our consciousness to its will and be forgotten. Good art changes us, and we carry with us its effects long after the exposure. 

            But of course, civilization is just decaying; humanity is loosing its family values and morals. So none of this really matters. After all, only 250 years ago, Sade was arguing that “The callousness of the Rich legitimates the bad conduct of the Poor” because, in part, the punishment for robbery then was the same for murder: death. So everyone’s to blame…stupid humans.

Posted by Fizzygoo at 12:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)