…is wrong.
* Your memory is manipulated by being told “facts” repeatedly.
* Your brain ignores things you aren’t focusing on.
* Your brain makes shit up to fill in the gaps.
* Your brain will tell you a manipulated image fits with your memory of the event.
* Your mood during an event affects how, and if, you will remember that event.
The above via Cracked.com
“Everything you know is wrong.” You’re just going to end up like that old fart on the porch bitching about “the good old days.” But those good old days were just when mommy and daddy were protecting you from how bad everything was and they remember their good old days when grandma and grandpa were protecting them and grandma and grandpa have their silver-lining memories, but it’s all bullshit. The 2000’s were filled with wars abroad, sinking economy, city-destroying hurricanes, tsunami of 04, 9/11. The 90’s had near-impeachments, home-grown terrorists, the Macarena. The 80’s, recession, savings and loans, Chernobal, terrible hairstyles. The 70’s vietnam and the decade began with Kent State. The 60’s vietnam and threat of nuclear war. The 50’s social conformity with lynchings, not to mention Stalin’s happy works in the East. The 40’s, hell, half of that was dealing with Hitler. The 30’s, rise of facism, the Great Depression. The 20’s, prohibition and the crash. The 10’s, the Great War and the Spanish Flu. And so on. Like the 1800’s were any better…get sick, here get hooked on laudnum. 1700’s…no toilet paper no bidets. 1600’s…if you have a vagina and an opinion you’re probably a witch, better burn you. And so on and so on. In the past, if something pissed you off it was probably another person and you’d either kill them or they’d kill you, either way it sucked. Today, if something pisses you off it’s probably some piece of technology, your phone, car, computer, and all you can do is watch your blood pressure rise and kill you slowly. But I’m probably wrong.
Repetition breeds acceptance. Those talking heads on tv…they’re just humans who are fed information from other humans and they’re just as wrong about everything as we are and they keep repeating it and we keep hearing it and it’s wrong reinforcing wrong. And once you accept something as fact, even when you’re presented with undeniable evidence proving how wrong what you think you know is…you’ll just deny it, or ignore it, or make some shit up so that you can claim the evidence is faulty. I went to dinner with my wife the other day and I said it was my first time eating there. She said “no, we’ve eaten here twice before but back in the 90’s.” I don’t remember it. She does. We’re probably both making shit up. If I found the receipt would I then believe her? I’d like to think so, but if it wasn’t from my bank, my card, then I’d probably make some shit up like, “well, you must have went there with someone else.” If I went through both her and my bank statements during those years and found no evidence would she believe me? I’d like to think so, but she’d probably just say, “we probably paid in cash.” On the bright side, the more your loved ones say to you, “I love you,” then you can bet they’re convincing themselves of the fact more and more each time they say it. But I’m probably wrong.
Hell, even the five claims above are probably all bullshit…just humanity trying to convince itself that we know why we don’t know and now we’re working on convincing ourselves that we do. But we don’t. But I’m probably wrong. But I know who’s right (not that you’ll believe me because you’re already convincing yourself that everything I’m saying is bullshit): Weird Al Yankovic. And with that, I leave you with his lyrics to his song, “Everything you know is wrong.”
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lane
With a rabid wolverine in my underwear
When suddenly a guy behind me in the back seat
Popped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, “Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?”
“Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?”
“Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?”
I probably would have kept on guessing
But about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I’m laying bleeding there on the asphalt
Finally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealer
Who takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn’t matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin’ to the kitchen for some Golden Grahams
When I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension
And soon I was abducted by some aliens from space
Who kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organs
And they took some polaroids
And said I was a darn good sport
And as a way of saying thank you
They offered to transport me back to
Any point in history that I would care to go
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday night
So I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of
Colonel Sanders started yelling
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just so
Important doesn’t matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin
When I got a nasty papercut
And, well, to make a long story short
It got infected and I died
So now I’m up in heaven with St. Peter
By the pearly gates
And it’s obvious he doesn’t like
The Nehru jacket that I’m wearing
He tells me that they’ve got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway
But I get the room next to the noisy ice machine
For all eternity
And every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so important
Doesn’t really matter anymore
Because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
Everything you know is wrong
